Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Randomize
