Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize