My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize