so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
it hurts more in the daytime
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Randomize
