We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
