Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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