It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
