Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
