I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
