The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
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