she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
