She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Randomize
