how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
My dick has a subreddit
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
