Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
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