i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
