oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
