The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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