worst night to have a conscience
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
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