the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
