He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Less talking, more tequila
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
