I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
