why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Randomize
