I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
