they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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