whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
