Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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