i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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