I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
