I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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