He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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