I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
i think im in europe. pls send help
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