I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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