Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
