Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
it's like iHOP with fire
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Randomize
