In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
