Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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