you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize