It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
someone owes me an orgasm
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize
