Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
