Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Randomize
