Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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