this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Randomize
