I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
You are the jesus of drinking
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize