In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
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