Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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