Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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