just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
