He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
