you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
