Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
