whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
I'm bleeding and have questions
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
