the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
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