dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize