i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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