I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
