i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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