I just cut my nipple shaving
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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