Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
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