Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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