we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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