So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
