Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
