I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I'm drive I can fine osifer
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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