Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
