Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Randomize