u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
