how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
