I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
