no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I have feelings that need drinking.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Randomize
