hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I want to make a zoo with you.
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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