I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
