theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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