I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
