Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
